Friday, July 25, 2014
And Welcome to 2014
I am pretty sure this is far more out of delaying my paper than anyone reading this, but I started something and I promised it would not be consistent. I guess this is where the time comes for me to state that 2.5 years later from my last post I am literally in a totally different place (also I sure hope my writing skills have improved exponentially). I am anticipating the August fifth flight back to NYC to start my (hopefully) final two semesters of my Masters Degree. I have been blessed to watch God move in my life since the very first moment I stepped into Korean church. This is something that is now such a big part of my heart that I honestly could not imagine being in another type of ministry. Its pretty incredible to love people in the capacity I have been able to over the past three and half years. God has proven himself to be continuously faithful. There are always moments in life where we need to do like the Israelites and Joshua and place a memorial of stones, a stake in the ground, some form of marker that this is something we can never forget. I have had many things happen in my life over the past three and a half years that point me back to God and all that he has done in my life. What I have witnessed him do across the globe and in my own life reminds me he is sovereign. God has been good. To write, reflect, or take photos, are an attempt to make moments last... in my life, I want to do more than that with some very significant moments, I want to make a stake in the ground that I can go back to. For those moments are reminders when the times get dark and troubling, when God seems far and silent, I will look back and see what he has done, so I can trust what he has promised me. That he is an ever present help and that those he calls he equips. One truth that has been wrecking my heart again and again is the fact that God chose me. I have failed him so many times, yet he still chose me. He still called me into his Kingdom work and although I am not sure how the next few years will come to be, this I do know, God is good and worthy of praise. Where ever I may end up, I pray it is simple response of my love for God revealed in obedience and trust of the God who calls nations to himself.
Below in a picture of the gantry. Its a place I love to go, I can see the city lights, hear the ocean against the rocks, and for a moment feel like it is just me and God in NYC. This was the place, the night before heading home to Canada for two months, where I placed a stake in the ground. It was a moment that although a fog had set in the city, there was an incredible clarity in my heart and spirit, I chose there once again that my life will be set apart for God and his kingdom purposes. A moment where I declared that I would walk in light of the cross for the rest of my days. I would trust that God who called would open up the doors necessary for my return to NYC and that I would continue to look for his hand in my life no matter where I may be.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
NYC 2011
Boxing Day - 2 am came way too early - I got up from an hour nap, showered blow dried my hair and got my face on - I had to pick up one of the kids at 245 so I would be at the airport with coffee in hand before the rest showed up. Luckily - the girl I picked up is fabulous and didnt mind the sheer mess I felt as I awaited what border guard we would be "blessed" with. The kids came on time luckily and we got ready to check in - I am always amazed at what people look like in airports especially when they land (once upon a time a friend and I came to the airport to escape school assignments and simply watched people come home to edmonton - you could tell where they were coming from and lets just say not many people look refreshed from a flight from vegas). My goal this trip was to look fabulous at all times in the airport (this would prove to be harder than I thought). Anyways it took forever to get everyone checked in and then to say good bye to parents and then wait for customs. Luckily my kids are for the most part fantastic but the guard we got to cross into usa soil wasnt so chipper. He started off mean until I told my kids to shh and then he became my friend. He had lots of questions for me because I am white and the seven with me were all korean - which led as always to what do I do - and then the age comment - followed by questions for the kids and comments to me about my position and my age - we finally got through and in the back of my head I began to wonder at the miracle of my position at my age in the place I am. It has truly been a blessing to be where I am. Not easy - no that is not the word to describe it - perhaps instead joyful and growing?! yeah something like that.
Anyways we went to New York and after a bit of time got into the church we would be staying in - it was gorgeous - not one of those massive churches that put millions of dollars into decor but rather it was like I walked into my grandparents house. It was so lovely. We went to Time Square and had a blast experiencing manhattan at night. The next morning came way too fast where we carpooled with the nyc church up to Rochester for the GKYM conference. The church blessed us and we drove up in a 15 passenger van and the 7 hour trip made me realize a. I dislike long car rides b. this was a blessing and I should be thankful - we arrived had some issues but in the end it was an incredible blessing to be there.
The conference was a missions conference - and that was a blessing - I was poured into and could find truth to apply to my life in many ways and it felt great to seek God again, in a setting where I was able to seek Him in the crowd and not feel so watched. God challenged me so much during this retreat. I dont know all the words to say about it - just that God and me have a lot of work to do, its the refiner's fire for me.
When we came back to nyc we went to manhattan again and a late night followed. I do not like being cold when I sleep I have discovered. Its not fun at all. But none the less the church blessed us soo much in nyc. I love this about being a part of the Body of Christ - we are all together in this. Cheers to adventures and God's refining process
Anyways we went to New York and after a bit of time got into the church we would be staying in - it was gorgeous - not one of those massive churches that put millions of dollars into decor but rather it was like I walked into my grandparents house. It was so lovely. We went to Time Square and had a blast experiencing manhattan at night. The next morning came way too fast where we carpooled with the nyc church up to Rochester for the GKYM conference. The church blessed us and we drove up in a 15 passenger van and the 7 hour trip made me realize a. I dislike long car rides b. this was a blessing and I should be thankful - we arrived had some issues but in the end it was an incredible blessing to be there.
The conference was a missions conference - and that was a blessing - I was poured into and could find truth to apply to my life in many ways and it felt great to seek God again, in a setting where I was able to seek Him in the crowd and not feel so watched. God challenged me so much during this retreat. I dont know all the words to say about it - just that God and me have a lot of work to do, its the refiner's fire for me.
When we came back to nyc we went to manhattan again and a late night followed. I do not like being cold when I sleep I have discovered. Its not fun at all. But none the less the church blessed us soo much in nyc. I love this about being a part of the Body of Christ - we are all together in this. Cheers to adventures and God's refining process
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Holidays
There has always been a tradition in my family growing up. For the past ever we have spent Christmas morning together and have enjoyed being all together - niece and nephew and even the brother in law. Some how we always made it work. But this year the schedule had to be molded around mine and thankfully my family is full of love and was willing to move around it. It was a crazy weekend - church home family pack. It seemed like there was never enough hours to accomplish all that I had to do and wanted to do. I told my mom lets skip Christmas next year. LEts do a big family vacation in the new year instead. And while for me that might work - I highly doubt it will happen. Here is the thing I am learning there are seasons of my year that are insane and others that are far more calming. This year has been a year of firsts. And so my first Christmas here was something else but at the same time throughout it all God was faithful and beckoned me to come to Him first. My parents came to church on Sunday and watched all the different aspects of the educational departments performances and the rest of the service. It is easy to see how quickly Christmas can become a busy day instead of the celebration - so next year we will do it a bit differently but I end with this - I am so blessed too have an incredible family and an incredible church family that I love with everything in me.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Days Off
Going from a college student to a person with an actual job I have come to treasure what one would call a "day off". At first I felt really guilty when I took the day off. Here is the thing with being a pastor - there is always more work that can be done- there is always something else that needs your attention. My previous professor told me when I started this position that I would need to put up boundaries and make sure that I took my time off when I needed to etc. So I have learned the art of taking the day off.
Yesterday should be summed up as a sweats and home day - I got out of bed at noon - yes noon - (in my defense I was awake at nine - I just decided not to get up) and spent the afternoon in my little apartment which (miraculously) I tidied up (although you wouldnt guess it now) made homemade peanut butter cups. I went over to my neighbors apartment to watch their two year old son so they could go to an appointment. After that I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 8 (might I state evening naps are the WORST - it totally messes up your sleeping) so I had to stay awake a bit so I baked meringue cookies (I had costco amount of eggs to go through) and i decided I will let my youth binge tonight while we bake for Christmas day.
The best part was talking to my childhood best friend Katherine on the phone late last night. We have 13 years of friendship and she is the only friend I have that knows me inside and out - she understands my dramatic flair to life (border line appreciates it) and has crossed to the other side of relationships (married almost a year now). Its funny how history friendships work - there is this all powerful trump card in the relationship that even if we dont talk for a month or two - once we do its as if no time passed and its a comforting relationship to have in my life.
I have a handful of friends that I have kept close to my heart and I know that they will morph and change over time but thats okay - God has always put the people I needed in my life - in my life at the right time.
Days Off I think are more about comfort than anything else - I get to adventure to NYC next week so I needed the day to "putter". I needed to process (I over think all the time) and I found that comfort level I needed to be able to be at peace again.
Yesterday was a day of comfort - like putting on a favourite hoodie - it just fit perfectly.
Now the ridiculous amount of baking I have done has led me to the following conclusion
i need a set of metal or glass mixing bowls, I need tupperware to put it in and I dream of a kitchen aide mixer *sigh* and an actual counter to bake on! One day haha!
Yesterday should be summed up as a sweats and home day - I got out of bed at noon - yes noon - (in my defense I was awake at nine - I just decided not to get up) and spent the afternoon in my little apartment which (miraculously) I tidied up (although you wouldnt guess it now) made homemade peanut butter cups. I went over to my neighbors apartment to watch their two year old son so they could go to an appointment. After that I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 8 (might I state evening naps are the WORST - it totally messes up your sleeping) so I had to stay awake a bit so I baked meringue cookies (I had costco amount of eggs to go through) and i decided I will let my youth binge tonight while we bake for Christmas day.
The best part was talking to my childhood best friend Katherine on the phone late last night. We have 13 years of friendship and she is the only friend I have that knows me inside and out - she understands my dramatic flair to life (border line appreciates it) and has crossed to the other side of relationships (married almost a year now). Its funny how history friendships work - there is this all powerful trump card in the relationship that even if we dont talk for a month or two - once we do its as if no time passed and its a comforting relationship to have in my life.
I have a handful of friends that I have kept close to my heart and I know that they will morph and change over time but thats okay - God has always put the people I needed in my life - in my life at the right time.
Days Off I think are more about comfort than anything else - I get to adventure to NYC next week so I needed the day to "putter". I needed to process (I over think all the time) and I found that comfort level I needed to be able to be at peace again.
Yesterday was a day of comfort - like putting on a favourite hoodie - it just fit perfectly.
Now the ridiculous amount of baking I have done has led me to the following conclusion
i need a set of metal or glass mixing bowls, I need tupperware to put it in and I dream of a kitchen aide mixer *sigh* and an actual counter to bake on! One day haha!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Life Event 2
I love my life!
I really do
I love where God has brought me
it has not been an easy path but it has been the very best path
In February an old professor of mine asked if I would be interested in a youth ministry job - I politely declined.
But he insisted we have coffee. (My cheapness knew he would pay so I agreed)
The friday he first texted me I cried and cried (yes I have an incredible ability to tear up and cry - dont judge me)I cried out of fear, out of grief, out of doubt, out of insecurity out of it all...
I had a great plan in my mind a few jobs I knew would open up and I was just passing time till it came up than I would apply...
So I had tons of people praying - pastors mentors board members, grandparents everyone was praying for this meeting between myself and an old prof
so in the end I met with him and I was excited at the end - I went to Cuba then I came back and preached for two weeks in a row
my first sermon was terrible - actually T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E
second one was better - and on Friday that week I was offered the position.
That whole month between the text message and the job, was a month of battle
I had grown to love MWPA and I had a passion for all I was doing - I loved my preschool kids, my bosses, the staff, the areas of volunteering I was involved in - something in me said stay - at the same time something else in me was saying go. I didnt know which one was God and what was me - I will never forget that Friday when I met with Elder Kwon and the Senior Pastor Sim. I was a wreck - I called my mom in the parking lot and I was shaking - I ended up walking into the church (most people would have assumed I was lost) and the groundskeeper just asked me about myself - I said a little then I asked his story and he poured out his story from his heart - God spoke so clearly through him - I knew this is where I belonged and I was more terrified than ever before.
Elder Kwon was running late and a young adult I recognized came down and said I could wait upstairs - I dont think he realized how terrified I was inside - so I just kept talking to this gentleman who is now on the missions field because God told him to "go".
Anyways I met that night and I accepted the position.
So I am the English Ministries Pastor at Edmonton Korean First Presbyterian Church.
its been 8.5 months and I am so thankful I surrendered to God's plan for my life.
I really do
I love where God has brought me
it has not been an easy path but it has been the very best path
In February an old professor of mine asked if I would be interested in a youth ministry job - I politely declined.
But he insisted we have coffee. (My cheapness knew he would pay so I agreed)
The friday he first texted me I cried and cried (yes I have an incredible ability to tear up and cry - dont judge me)I cried out of fear, out of grief, out of doubt, out of insecurity out of it all...
I had a great plan in my mind a few jobs I knew would open up and I was just passing time till it came up than I would apply...
So I had tons of people praying - pastors mentors board members, grandparents everyone was praying for this meeting between myself and an old prof
so in the end I met with him and I was excited at the end - I went to Cuba then I came back and preached for two weeks in a row
my first sermon was terrible - actually T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E
second one was better - and on Friday that week I was offered the position.
That whole month between the text message and the job, was a month of battle
I had grown to love MWPA and I had a passion for all I was doing - I loved my preschool kids, my bosses, the staff, the areas of volunteering I was involved in - something in me said stay - at the same time something else in me was saying go. I didnt know which one was God and what was me - I will never forget that Friday when I met with Elder Kwon and the Senior Pastor Sim. I was a wreck - I called my mom in the parking lot and I was shaking - I ended up walking into the church (most people would have assumed I was lost) and the groundskeeper just asked me about myself - I said a little then I asked his story and he poured out his story from his heart - God spoke so clearly through him - I knew this is where I belonged and I was more terrified than ever before.
Elder Kwon was running late and a young adult I recognized came down and said I could wait upstairs - I dont think he realized how terrified I was inside - so I just kept talking to this gentleman who is now on the missions field because God told him to "go".
Anyways I met that night and I accepted the position.
So I am the English Ministries Pastor at Edmonton Korean First Presbyterian Church.
its been 8.5 months and I am so thankful I surrendered to God's plan for my life.
Grad Photos
I hate bad photographers - I dont mean the random person with a cam wow app, I mean the school photographers that make you look so awkward in photos and give no passion to you as an artist.
needless to say I strongly disliked my photos - there was no cap - I forgot it was picture day - and he was a stone man - no excitement - so the pictures turned out unlike what I like or appreciate or want my family to display so in came my hero - Christine with Uncontained Photography based in Fort Mac but does work throughout ALberta
She is AMAZING!!! Actually Amazing!!!
I am so glad I know her - she is worth the investment!
This was perhaps one of the first times I no longer thought of myself as a girl - or as a child - slowly this was growing up time - this was time to become a young lady or maybe even a young woman. It was going to be the beginning of truly being an adult - taking care of myself and being proud of who I am and what I have accomplished and the life God has led me too
needless to say I strongly disliked my photos - there was no cap - I forgot it was picture day - and he was a stone man - no excitement - so the pictures turned out unlike what I like or appreciate or want my family to display so in came my hero - Christine with Uncontained Photography based in Fort Mac but does work throughout ALberta
She is AMAZING!!! Actually Amazing!!!
I am so glad I know her - she is worth the investment!
This was perhaps one of the first times I no longer thought of myself as a girl - or as a child - slowly this was growing up time - this was time to become a young lady or maybe even a young woman. It was going to be the beginning of truly being an adult - taking care of myself and being proud of who I am and what I have accomplished and the life God has led me too
Life Event 1
So to update you on my life of the past year and a bit this is probably the second biggest thing ---- GRADUATION
I finally graduated with my 4 year (although it feels like a blink and a trillion years all at once) Bachelor of Arts in Intercultural Studies with a Children and Family Studies Minor.
I can remember my last assignment, a 10 page personal reflection paper for professor Big Mac (name is a whole other post to explain) and I pounded it out in 3 hours (yes a record for me)it was the weirdest feeling knowing full well that was my last assignment - the one I had been counting down to for the previous 8 semesters, the feeling that a major accomplishment had been achieved, but I was the only one done - so celebration had to be postponed till Nova was done - she took forever mind you
anyways I can remember in my first year when I crossed the stage for my hms certificate I heard a fourth year saying that I had no idea what real graduation was like - this was just a premature grad for me - I had a long way to go still - man they were right... so finally it was my time and I soaked it in... (random fact about me - if i have an opportunity to soak it in - I will - welcome to why I love birthdays and christmas and all of these distinct moments)
so graduation was the second biggest event this year
Okay now before you say why is she barefoot let me explain...
I love heels - 5"10 being my height I secretly enjoy clearing 6" - actually
So Grade 12 grad I bought beautiful heels - 7 weeks before grad I broke my ankle - no heels for 2007....
I bought a beautiful pair for grad this year - in fact I wore them all day (minus from am service to car - I was barefoot then)
When it was my turn to cross the stage my feet were sweaty (grossness >.<) and I was shaking - so I simply kicked them off - barefoot vs falling on my face in front of people - I went for barefoot - welcome to my life...
This is one of my absolute FAV couples - RandC are perhaps one of the most inspiring couples I know - R graduated a couple years before me - but he was one of the most influential guys at school in my life - I could ask him a question and he would simply give me an honest answer, and he has perhaps the biggest heart ever! Then his wife C graduated a year before me - she is one of the most amazing lady I know. She doesnt apologize for who she is nor does she make excuses - she gets stuff done and does it in an incredible way - she has walked with me and Nova through alot - I admire her tenacity and her commitment to the people in her heart is amazing - it is an honor to know these two!
This is Elder Kwon and His wife - you will find out about them later - lets just say this is the beginning of that area of my life
I finally graduated with my 4 year (although it feels like a blink and a trillion years all at once) Bachelor of Arts in Intercultural Studies with a Children and Family Studies Minor.
I can remember my last assignment, a 10 page personal reflection paper for professor Big Mac (name is a whole other post to explain) and I pounded it out in 3 hours (yes a record for me)it was the weirdest feeling knowing full well that was my last assignment - the one I had been counting down to for the previous 8 semesters, the feeling that a major accomplishment had been achieved, but I was the only one done - so celebration had to be postponed till Nova was done - she took forever mind you
anyways I can remember in my first year when I crossed the stage for my hms certificate I heard a fourth year saying that I had no idea what real graduation was like - this was just a premature grad for me - I had a long way to go still - man they were right... so finally it was my time and I soaked it in... (random fact about me - if i have an opportunity to soak it in - I will - welcome to why I love birthdays and christmas and all of these distinct moments)
so graduation was the second biggest event this year
Okay now before you say why is she barefoot let me explain...
I love heels - 5"10 being my height I secretly enjoy clearing 6" - actually
So Grade 12 grad I bought beautiful heels - 7 weeks before grad I broke my ankle - no heels for 2007....
I bought a beautiful pair for grad this year - in fact I wore them all day (minus from am service to car - I was barefoot then)
When it was my turn to cross the stage my feet were sweaty (grossness >.<) and I was shaking - so I simply kicked them off - barefoot vs falling on my face in front of people - I went for barefoot - welcome to my life...
This is one of my absolute FAV couples - RandC are perhaps one of the most inspiring couples I know - R graduated a couple years before me - but he was one of the most influential guys at school in my life - I could ask him a question and he would simply give me an honest answer, and he has perhaps the biggest heart ever! Then his wife C graduated a year before me - she is one of the most amazing lady I know. She doesnt apologize for who she is nor does she make excuses - she gets stuff done and does it in an incredible way - she has walked with me and Nova through alot - I admire her tenacity and her commitment to the people in her heart is amazing - it is an honor to know these two!
This is Elder Kwon and His wife - you will find out about them later - lets just say this is the beginning of that area of my life
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